Buena Vista/Getty Images(NEW YORK) — Ready to feel old? Pretty Woman hit theaters 25 years ago on Monday.
For those of you who haven’t seen the film, here’s a quick recap: Richard Gere stars as Edward Lewis, a hard-nosed businessman who hires a sassy, but unpolished, prostitute named Vivian (played by Julia Roberts) to attend social functions with him while he negotiates an important business deal.
With the help of the friendly Beverly Wilshire Hotel manager Barnard (Hector Elizondo), Vivian gets a complete makeover and learns proper etiquette, ultimately winning over Edward, with whom she falls in love. Cue a homeless man wandering around, encouraging everybody to follow their dreams and Roy Orbison crooning “Pretty Woman.”
In a lot of ways, it’s a formula we’ve seen a lot over the years. However, there are a few choice moments in Pretty Woman that aren’t as plausible now as they were back in 1990. Here are a few, below:
1. Edward meets Vivian: Edward first meets Vivian when he stops to ask her directions to his hotel. Ultimately, he let her drive his car there. This would never happen today. First of all, Edward would absolutely have access to a GPS system, or, at the very least, a mapping function on his phone, so it’s unlikely that he would have gotten lost in the first place. And, if he did, he’d call for help. He wouldn’t ask a random person on the street for directions.
2. Edward drives a Lotus: Lotus is mostly known for race cars these days. In a modern version of Pretty Woman, maybe Edward would drive a Tesla and be in need of a charging station.
3. “You’re on my fax”: That’s an actual sentence that Edward says to Vivian. Shortly thereafter, we learn that he has a cell phone the size of his head and does not appear to use a laptop. None of this stands the test of time, but the quote does have a certain ring to it!
4. Vivian listens to Prince on her Walkman while taking a bath: Prince’s “Kiss” may be timeless, but sadly, Walkmans are not. Vivian would be listening to music — or maybe a podcast — on her phone. (She could get into “Serial,” right?)
5. Edward hires Vivian for the week: Edward, a busy man in the middle of a big business deal, needs someone to accompany him to a week’s worth of social events, so he hires Vivian to do the job. After all, times were tough in 1990: You had to go out, meet someone in real life, and then take her on a date before proposing something like that. Today, Edward could simplify things: He could download Tinder, swipe right a few times, and voila! He’s set.
6. “You really should think about traveler’s checks”: That’s the advice Vivian gives to Edward when he hands her a stack of cash for a new wardrobe. There are people today who don’t even know what a traveler’s check is. A simpler way to go would have been what he did later: give her his card.
7. Vivian is turned away from a store on Rodeo Drive: In one of the film’s most famous scenes, Vivian, still in her street clothes, is humiliated when saleswomen at an upscale boutique refuses to help her. The next day, after having better luck at another store, a glammed up-Vivian walks back into the first shop to confront her bullies. “You work on commission, right?” she asks them, waving her shopping bags in their faces. “Big mistake. Big. Huge.” These days, it’s unlikely anyone would bat an eye at her original outfit — a short skirt and cropped top. After all, some stars wear those looks on the red carpet!
8. Vivian goes on shopping spree: Vivian finally goes on a shopping spree, shown in the film as a montage set to “Pretty Woman.” It seems more likely that today, a stylist would come to the hotel armed with everything she’d need. And when they ordered her pizza? Forget it. 1990’s “Who ordered pizza?” is today’s, “Who ordered kale salad and green juices?!”
9. Edward tells Vivian not to answer the phone: Vivian would have a cell phone, which she probably would have used to get an Uber car to take her home from the hotel in the first place, but that’s neither here nor there. Either way, if Edward wanted to get a hold of her, he could text her, or call her cell phone. She probably wouldn’t even think to answer the phone in the hotel room.
10. Vivian whoops at the polo match: By 1990, Arsenio Hall had popularized whooping and first pumping, which was how Vivian reacted to a polo match. Now she’d probably just snap a selfie to prove how excited she was to be there.
11. Edward’s lawyer’s wife is described as an “aerobics queen”: Edward’s lawyer Philip Stuckey (played by Jason Alexander) remarks that his wife is an “aerobics queen” after she runs off to catch up with a friend from “Workout World.” In 2015, Elizabeth Stuckey would be into SoulCycle.
12. Kit and Vivian share an emotional goodbye: As Vivian packs up her things to move to San Francisco, Kit, her roommate, nostalgically looks old photos and gives her a big hug. Today, Kit would be flipping through her Instagram page, and the goodbye would be less depressing, because they’d probably be texting and Facetiming within hours.
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