Courtesy Melissa Barvels(NEW YORK) — One 8-year-old has penned a hilarious, and brutally honest, how-to-guide for surviving third grade.
Christopher Bannon, of Staten Island, New York, wrote the guide, simply titled “How to Survive 3rd Grade,” for a school assignment, according to his mom, Melissa Barvels.
Christopher and his third grade classmates were assigned to write their own survival guides after reading “Amelia’s School Survival Guide” by Marissa Moss.
Christopher’s tips for third graders include everything from the obvious – “Always work quietly or else” and “Do not forget your homework” – to the very specific.
“Do not lay down in the meeting area,” Christopher wrote. “Trust me I have tried it is not as comfortable as it looks.”
When Christopher brought his survival guide home, his mom found it so funny she shared it on Facebook. Christopher told his mom he got a similar reaction from his classmates and teachers.
“He said when he read it aloud his teachers and friends were laughing,” Barvels told ABC News. “He really wanted me to read it and he was really proud of it.”
Barvels, who described her son as “very witty,” said she was particularly impressed by how spot-on the tips were, especially coming from an 8-year-old.
“Look good on picture day because if you do not it is not going to look so good as a magnet on your refrigerator door,” Christopher wrote.
Another spot-on tip?
“Pick your groups wisely because there is no turning back once you get a paper,” he wrote.
“I guess he has to deal with that all the time,” Barvels said.
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